Conclusion: They're men in fur coats.
There's a danger you know,
You can't own just one,
for the craving will grow.
There's no doubt they're addictive,
wherein lies the danger.
While living with lots,
you'll grow poorer and stranger.
One dog is no trouble,
and two are so funny.
The third one is easy,
the fourth one's a honey.
The fifth one delightful,
the sixth one's a breeze,
You find you can live
with a houseful with ease.
So how 'bout another?
Would you really dare?
They're really quite easy
but oh, Lord the hair!
With dogs on the sofa
and dogs on the bed,
And crates in the kitchen,
it's no bother you've said.
They're really no trouble,
their manners are great.
What's just one more dog
and just one more crate?
The sofa is hairy,
the windows are crusty,
The floor is all footprints,
the furniture dusty.
The housekeeping suffers,
but what do you care?
Who minds a few noseprints
and a little more hair?
So let's keep a puppy,
you can always find room,
And a little more time
for the dust cloth and broom.
There's hardly a limit
to the dogs you can add,
The thought of a cutback
sure makes you sad.
Each one is so special,
so useful, so funny.
The Vet and food bills grow larger,
you owe money.
Your folks never visit,
few friends come to stay,
Except other dog folks,
who all live the same way.
Your lawn has now died,
and your shrubs are dead too,
But your weekends are busy,
you're off with your crew.
There's dog food and vitamins,
training and shots.
And entries and travel
and motels which cost lots.
Is it worth it, you wonder?
Are you caught in a trap?
Then that favorite dog comes
and climbs in your lap.
His look says you're special
and you know that
you will Keep all of the critters
in spite of the bill.
Some just for showing
and some just to breed.
And some just for loving,
they all fill a need.
But winter's a hassle,
the dogs hate it too.
But they must have their walks
though they're numb
and you're blue.
Late evening is awful,
you scream and you shout
At the dogs on the sofa
who refuse to go out.
The dogs and the dog shows,
the travel, the thrills,
The work and the worry,
the pressure, the bills.
The whole thing seems worth it,
the dogs are your life.
They're charming and funny
and offset the strife.
Your life-style has changed.
Things won't be the same.
Yes, those dogs are addictive
and so is the dog game!!
Afghan: Light bulb? What's a light bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're worrying about a burned out light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code and install new fixtures. And the plumbing, how 'bout I work on that too! Then I'll bring in the sheep, and chase the ball for 2 hours and move the sheep and chase the cat and stare at you and then move the sheep again.
Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it.
Rottweiler: Make me! Shi-tzu: Puh-leeez, dahling, I have servants for that kind of thing.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeaze let me change the light bulb. Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. <
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Beagle: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I ate was a light bulb? Oh geez. Can I have another one?
Westie: Four. One to stand lookout, one to chase the bunnies, one to watch and one to supervise the person on the ladder.
Chesapeake Bay Retriever: One! – who noticed it was out and changed it before anyone asked!
I cannot train my dog today,
the sky is overcast and grey,
the air's too damp.
I've got a cramp,
and the dog's just eaten anyway.
Can't find the leash,
got home too late,
I'm due somewhere tonight at eight.
I've got a rash, a gash, and bumps.
Too tired now to get the jumps.
Traffic's made me tense and strained.
I have to lose this weight I've gained.
How can we work when it's just rained?
The dog's too hyper.
My mood is blue,
I must be coming down with the flu,
I cough, I sneeze, and wheeze and choke.
Darn! My only dumbbell broke!
Too cold outside – my feet are numb.
There's a sliver in my thumb.
The house needs cleaning –
it's a sight.
I'm working overtime tonight.
My toe is sore – it might be gout.
I think my hair is falling out.
I ate too much.
My day's been rough.
I think my dog has had enoughof this daily training grind,
we need some time off to unwind.
I experienced a very unusual thing indeed. It might restore someone's faith in humanity! I know it did mine. As with all forms of competition, there comes a certain amount of ambition, goal grabbing, disappointment, anger and even revenge in extreme cases. Some of it, is just the nature of competition, the majority of it is just malice. Dog showing is no exemption. Unfortunately, all too often I have stood at ringside and heard malicious comments, bitching and bickering. Dog show people can be very cruel to each other sometimes. I have on occasion been the brunt of these comments, but that's another story. Well, yesterday I had a breath of fresh air, as it were. I was stewarding at the Rough Collie Club of Ireland's Championship show. It's a relatively popular breed here in Ireland. Always a big entry. They had a wonderful judge from the U.K. This lady has been in the breed since 1949. So, it goes without saying, I was pretty privileged to steward for her.
Just before the Novice class, one of the club official's came into the ring and, I overheard her tell the judge about the one entry in the class. I thought it was unusual that there was only one entry in the class, but later found out the reason why! I called the class, and, in walked an old man and his Rough Collie. I've only ever seen this man at our St. Patrick's day show. He's an old man, rough around the edges and, well, his dog, is really unkempt by show standards. He marched proudly into the ring with the dog on a great big thick rope lead! While the judge was going over the dog, I was filled in on his story.
I was told that he lives in an old folks home in Galway. (The other side of Ireland.) He has no family left living and no visitors at the old folks home. He's been showing this dog for eight years only ever on St. Patrick's day or the Club show. He'd traveled 150 miles on a bus yesterday morning. Which takes about 5 hours in Ireland. The nurses in his home, usually phone the club to tell of his departure, and the club usually phone back when they spot this old man at the show. He has only ever shown the dog in Novice, and people over the years never compete against him. The nurses told the club officials that when he wins a rosette at a show he wears it for weeks at home in the old folks home. The dog lives with him at the home and, is quite a celebrity "Show dog" with all the residents. The pride and joy of this man's life. He spends half the year, telling people about the last dog show and the other half of the year, looking forward to the next one! Anyway, the judge was so considerate to this man. And, boy was he proud to show his dog off.! When the judge asked could she look at the dog's teeth, "Oh yes," the man replied and instructed the dog to "Smile". With that the dog showed off a perfect set of choppers! The judge replied "Aren't you a clever dog?" With that the man said "Oh, he is very clever, he'll shake your hand too if you like!" I couldn't help smiling when I heard this, and full credit to the judge, she shook hands with the dog.! The dog won first in the class and every exhibitor at the show, gave this old man and his dog a standing ovation. He was cheered and clapped as he did his own lap around the ring. People came over to the ringside to congratulate and pat the man on the back as he left the ring.
Talk about Elvis leaving the building, this man was certainly the king when he won his class. He was just so proud of his accomplishment. He lapped up every minute of it. It was the first time I'm sad to say that I've seen people being genuinely nice at a dog show. They really made this old man's day. Possibly his year! Heaven help the residents at the old folks home when he returned home last night. Not only did he win a rosette but also won a great big trophy. I'm sure it will take pride of place on the mantle piece!
Isn't this what dog showing SHOULD be about.? Giving people like this old man a day out to enjoy the only family he has. His best pal, his dog. A memory for an old man to hold on to, to brighten his day, something to share with his friends at the old folk's home? Something to be proud of , however small the achievement? Anyway, that's the story, just a thought, an observation and possibly an inspiration to us all? I know it's one of the happiest memories I have of a dog show. "
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