An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and walked out with $72. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The lady says "Fluctuations." The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and said "Fluc you Ame r icans too!"
An anagram, as we all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following examples are quite astounding:
Read this sentence:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Now count aloud the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE: (do not go back and count them again).
ANSWER: There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence only finds three of them. If you caught six, you are a genius. There is no catch. Many people forget the OF's. The human brain tends to see them as V's and not F's.
Pretty weird, huh?
Show More...1 - The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the alphabet.
2 - Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
3 - A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
4 - In the 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to mobile services (two-way radios in taxicabs, for instance) but did not renumber the other channel assignments. That is why your TV set has channels 2 and up, but no channel 1.
5 - The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
6 - The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable".
7 - 'Hang On Snoopy' is the official rock song of Ohio.
8 - Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ?
9 - The reason firehouses have spiral stairways is from the days of old when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases, but not spirals.
10 - The airplane which Buddy Holly died in was called the "American Pie". Thus the name of the Don McLean song.
11 - When possums are playing possum, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror.
12 - The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
13 - Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades, King David, Clubs, Alexander the Great, Hearts, Charlemagne, and Diamonds, Julius Caesar.
14 - 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 =3D 12,345,678,987,654,321
15 - Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down-hence the expression "to get fired."
16 - Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
17 - Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
18 - An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.
19 - The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.
20 - The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
21 - Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
22 - The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
23 - Nutmeg is extremely poisonous injected intravenously.
24 - If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
25 - No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Superbowl.
26 - The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver".
27- The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.
29 - The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan.
These are from the New York magazine competition where they asked competitors to change *one* letter in a familiar non-English phrase and redefine it.
She does NOT get PMS She becomes:
HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL
She does NOT have a killer body She is:
TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE
She is NOT a bad cook She is:
COOKER INCOMPATIBLE
She is NOT a bad driver She is:
AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED
She is NOT a perfect ten She is:
NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR
She is NOT easy She is:
HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE
She does NOT hate sports on TV She is:
ATHLETICALLY BIASED
She does NOT have sexy lips She is:
COLLAGEN DEPENDENT
She does NOT get drunk She is:
ACCIDENTALLY OVER-SERVED
You do NOT ask her to dance You request a:
PRE-COITAL RHYTHMIC EXPERIENCE
She is NOT a gossip She is a:
VERBAL TERMINATOR
She does NOT work out too much She is an:
ABDOMINAL OVER ACHIEVER
She does NOT have a great butt She is:
GLUTEUS TO THE MAXIMUS
She is NOT hooked on soaps She is:
MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED
She is NOT cold or frigid She is:
THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE
She does NOT wear too much make-up She is:
COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED
She does NOT have great cleavage Her breasts are:
WELL LOCATED
She will NEVER gain weight She will become:
A METABOLIC UNDER ACHIEVER
She is NOT a screamer or moaner She is:
VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE
She does NOT shave her legs She experiences:
TEMPORARY STUBBLE REDUCTION
She does NOT have a hard body She is:
ANATOMICALLY INFLEXIBLE
She does NOT sunbathe She experiences:
SOLAR ENHANCEMENT
Her breast will NEVER sag They will:
LOSE THEIR VERTICAL HOLD
She does NOT spend too much She is:
OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS
She does NOT cut you off She becomes:
HORIZONTALLY INACCESSIBLE
She does NOT have big hair She is:
OVERLY AEROSOLED
She does NOT snore She is:
NASALLY REPETITIVE
She does NOT get drunk She becomes:
VERBALLY DYSLEXIC
She does NOT have big tits Her:
CUPS RUNNETH OVER
She is NOT too skinny She is:
SKELETALLY PROMINENT
So this guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber glances around at his shop and answers, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door again and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around and responds, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber responds, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves. This time, however, the barber turns to his friend and asks him to follow the weirdo.
After a short while, the barber's friend returns laughing. "Well, where did he go?," asked the barber. His friend responded, still laughing, "To your house."
